Not Quite Heaven
by emerald sorceress
Summary: Tia Dalma had seemed so sure when she said that the dead were at peace. Clearly she'd never met Buffy...
1. Not Quite Heaven

**Feedback**: Like a mermaid needs water. Feedback and criticism (but only constructive) is welcomed and appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: You all know the drill. I don't own any of the BTVS characters or POTC characters, because if I did Captain Jack would be my own personal cabin boy ;)

**Rating**: T

**Summary**: Set during POTC: At World's End and post 'The Gift' Season 5 of BTVS. Tia Dalma had seemed so sure when she said that everyone who'd died were at rest. Clearly she'd never met Buffy…

* * *

Sad were my thoughts that anchor'd silently

On the dead waters of that passionless sea,

Unstirr'd by any touch of living breath:

Silence hung over it, and drowsy Death,

Like a gorged sea-bird, slept with folded wings

On crowded carcases—sad passive things

That wore the thin grey surface, like a veil

Over the calmness of their features pale.

**Thomas Hood 'The Sea of Death'**

* * *

"Him at peace now."

Tia's dark eyes burned into hers and Elizabeth nodded as she wept. The crew shuffled uncomfortably, already disconcerted at the thousands of tiny boats bobbing near them as they sailed through the sea of dead people.

Suddenly there was the sound of something heavy and wet landing on the deck behind them. Pistols drawn, the crew turned to see the body of a young woman sprawled on the floor.

She rested for a moment on the deck and then sat up, beginning to wring out water from her clothes and hair. "Actually, some of us aren't."

The sound of weapons being primed and cocked didn't seem to faze her. Instead, she coughed, spitting out seawater, and picked a piece of weed out of her blonde, tangled hair.

"And who are you?" asked Will, his sword in hand.

She ignored the question and got up easily, stretching out her arms and legs, the bones cracking. She stepped out of the ever growing puddle that she'd been standing in and strolled back over to the side of the ship where she'd boarded.

Reaching down there was a loud yelp and then she drew her hand back. In her grasp was a squirming boy of about ten, dressed in tattered clothes and with a thick rope burn marring the skin around his neck. She dropped him on deck with a disapproving look and then eyed the crowd of armed people.

"Yay me. The welcoming committee," she sighed. "Right. Who's in charge of this boat?"

Jack stepped forward, frowning. "That'd be me love. Captain Jack Sparrow. And this is my ship- the 'The Black Pearl'."

The woman nodded but her face showed no sign of recognition.

"Captain. Jack. Sparrow."

"Yeah, I heard first time. I'm dead, not deaf."

Barbossa laughed. "Finally we meet someone who hasn't heard of you, Jack. What a mighty shame."

The woman shrugged. "Sorry. We only get news when someone new dies." She swept an arm out to indicate the thousands of tiny little boats bobbing around them. "And you may have noticed but this lot aren't the chattiest bunch ever."

"Sorry," said Will, "but you never said your name?"

"Buffy Summers." She smiled brightly, swallowing the Vampire Slayer part. These people seemed like they had enough problems of their own without her adding the world of demons, darkness and the forces of evil into the mix.

She glanced at the small, grubby, wet boy next to her. "And this is Fred. We ended up in the same boat for some reason, and now the kid won't leave me alone will you?" She ruffled his hair. "So, can we go yet?"

Everyone turned to Tia and Will spoke up. "I thought you said they're all meant to be at peace down here?"

Tia frowned. "Davy Jones is not doing his job properly."

Buffy crossed her arms. "Oh Davy Jones has nothing to do with this. If you want major blammage I'd go for the PTB. Stuck up, screwed up bastards. I swear they just love messing with me. I mean I jump in a portal prepared to sacrifice myself to save the world expecting Heaven on the other side." She jabbed a finger in the air angrily. "And instead of clouds and harps I get some weird underworld populated by the dead of the eighteenth century floating around in dinghies. I mean, whose messed up version of an afterlife is that?"

Jack looked around, considerably bewildered even for him. "Um, did anyone understand a word of what she just said?"

Buffy waved a hand. "Oh it doesn't matter. Long story short, I shouldn't be here. I mean I didn't even die at sea, and technically I haven't even been born yet so if I seem a bit ungratefully dead and eager to get out that'd be why." She scowled. "And Fred's just…well, he'll follow me even if I tell him specifically to stay in the boat." She sent the small boy a particularly pointed look. "So if we could get out of here before the rest of the dead click onto the fact that we're leaving whatever hellish afterlife this is and board your boat too, I'd be really happy."

The others looked at each other hesitantly.

Buffy decided some serious wheedling was in order. "Please, you have to take us with you. Do you have any idea how boring it is sitting around here?" She cast a glance over at Elizabeth. "No offence, I'm sure your Dad is having a blast."

There was a stony silence.

"Ok, new tactic; I'm really good at killing stuff. And this is only the second time I've ended up dead." Her nose wrinkled. "Or undead, whatever. And you people look like you could do with a hand. Plus Fred's good for…whatever kids do on boats."

"Can ye scale rigging lad?" asked Gibbs. "Like the devil himself was after ye?"

Fred nodded enthusiastically. "Yes sir."

"Good," muttered Jack. "As he normally is."

Barbossa eyed Buffy suspiciously. "We've already got a crew of able-bodied pirates on this quest of ours. Why should we take you on when you look like nothing but a scrawny little girl who'd faint away if Jack breathed in your face?"

She punched him squarely in the jaw. Barbossa stumbled backwards as the rest of the crew drew forwards, swords at the ready.

Jack on the other hand, was smiling broadly. "Well, I like her already."

"All right," Barbossa acquiesced, wincing as he touched his face, "you've got a good right hook on you, and seeing as how I'd like to keep the rest of me body intact I'll take your word for it that you know how to fight."

Gibbs opened his mouth to comment but was cut off as Jack clamped his hand over his friend's lips. "It's been said many times," Jack shot Gibbs a dark look, "that having a woman on board brings bad luck. That may be true, given the somewhat unfortunate series of events that have unfolded ever since Miss Swan arrived."

Elizabeth opened her mouth in protest but the joint glares from Will, Jack and Barbossa silenced her. She crossed her arms instead and pouted.

Jack fiddled with one of the beads in his hair and continued. "And I don't think having a dead woman onboard will likely turn things in our favour. But!" he added as Buffy began to interject, "in this case I think it best that we let Miss Summers remain seeing that it will be nigh impossible to get rid of her and we do have other matters to contend with, such as say how we get out of Davy Jones Locker to the land of the living and defeat the nefarious plans of our enemies." He paused and looked her up and down. "On the other hand we could just chuck her overboard."

Buffy smirked. "Try me. I'll just keep climbing back on, and if being dead has given me any perks, it's that I have an infinite amount of patience."

"It looks like I have no choice then," Jack shrugged. "And the boy as well?"

Fred grinned cheekily.

"We're sort of a two for one deal."

"I know I'm going to regret this." Jack held out a hand. "But welcome aboard."

Buffy's hand gripped his. "Thank you, Captain Sparrow."

* * *

It wasn't very long before Buffy began to think she'd made a mistake. It didn't help that they still hadn't managed to escape the Locker and as such morale was going down hill fast.

"If we cannot escape these doldrums before night, I fear we will sail on trackless seas, doomed to roam the reach between worlds, forever," moaned Tia.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow. "Way to be optimistic."

"I'm afraid, Miss Summers," said Barbossa, watching in bemusement as Jack began to run from one side of the ship to the other, "that you seem to have swapped eternity in a small boat, for eternity in a much bigger one."

"With crazier people," Buffy added, a grin lifting her lips at the corners. "But at least I'm not bored anymore."

"No," the pirate agreed, "that's certainly true."

"He's rocking the boat!" called out one of the crew.

"Aye, Jack's cracked it, the mad fool!" Gibbs shouted.

"Can I ask you a question?" asked Buffy as she got up from her position on the floor and began to run from one side to the other with the rest of the crew.

Barbossa eyed her carefully as if weighing up how much this would cost him and then nodded. "Aye."

"Your face seems very familiar. I don't suppose you've ever been dead before?"

The man blinked before grinning widely. "Aye, I have been. But the trick to being alive again is to make yourself invaluable to those who kill you off in the first place."

The boat banked into the air steeply and below her feet, Buffy felt the vibrations as loosed cannons smashed into the side of the ship. "So apart from you and me is there anyone else on this boat that hasn't been dead at some point?"

The boat was now rocking wildly and Barbossa gripped onto his hat as the ship tipped nearly vertically into the sky. Their feet left the ground and all of the crew were left dangling dangerously high above the sea.

"Excepting Miss Swan and Mr Turner the rest of us have all had a taste of our own brand of immortality Miss Summers." A hard glint came into his eye. "Remind me to tell you about it sometime when I'm not hanging from the side of my ship."

"I thought it was Jack's ship."

Barbossa laughed. "Jack _thinks_ it's his ship. But then there's always been a great deal of difference between what Jack thinks and the truth."

And then the boat sank into the water and the last thing Buffy saw before the world somersaulted were dark green waves covering the sky.

* * *

"Blessed sweet westerly. We're back!" Gibbs stared at the sunrise in amazement as Buffy began to wring her clothes out…again.

As it turned out, getting out of the Locker only led to a new set of problems. Namely, that Jack was none too happy about going to fight a Pirate War and everyone seemed to want to kill everyone else.

"Alright then!" said Barbossa, his pistol pointed at Jack. "The Brethren Court is a-gathering at Shipwreck Cove; and Jack, you and I are going and there'll be no arguing that point."

"I am arguing the point. If there are pirates gathering, I'm pointing my ship the other way," Jack retorted as Elizabeth swung both her pistols to aim at his head.

Except Will and Elizabeth, Buffy noted wryly, who had so much unresolved sexual tension and romantic angst going on between them that if they didn't get it sorted soon, one of them would explode.

"If we don't stand together, they'll hunt us down one by one 'till there'll be none left but you," pointed out Barbossa.

Jack shrugged, a dark look in his eyes. "I quite like the sound of that. Captain Jack Sparrow. Last pirate."

Buffy raised an eyebrow as the ship's monkey came to sit on her shoulder for a better view of the standoff. "Hi."

"Aye," retorted Barbossa, "and you'll be fighting Jones alone. Now, how does that figure into your plan?"

"I'm still working on that," said Jack, his lip curling. "But I will not be going back to the locker, mate. Count on that."

Then he shot him.

Or at least he would have done if the powder had not been wet. Instead they had a rather poor water pistol fight in Buffy's opinion, which ended with Jack making faces at Barbossa's back.

"Sorry to butt in like this," said Buffy as the monkey leapt from her shoulder to the rigging above her head, "but you can get back to shooting each other later." She motioned to the rest of the crew. "The rest of us who don't want to die would quite like to get off this boat and find land."

The group stared at her.

"What?" she said defensively.

* * *

"Miss Summers, is this place suitable for your liking?" Barbossa asked, handing her the telescope.

"Yes to the white sandy beaches and tropical paradise, no to the fact that it's miles from civilization and there's something very big and very dead on the beach." She slid the telescope shut. "And it looks like it's been dead for a while. I prefer my paradise without the stench of rotting flesh, so thanks, but I'll be staying onboard a little longer."

"Fair enough."

The monkey landed on Barbossa's hat and Buffy smiled. "He's cute."

"Where are my manners, you haven't been introduced." Barbossa smirked. "The immortal Miss Summers (deceased) meet the immortal Jack, (also deceased)."

"Wait, the monkey's immortal?" she rolled her eyes."They're really just handing it out nowadays aren't they?"

"It's a more precious gift than you think, and there are some, who'd be willing to do just about anything to get it." Buffy followed Barbossa's gaze to land on Jack pouring over his maps.

"Yeah...but in this trend have you noticed how you have to be dead to live forever?"

Barbossa wet his lips. "Certain people wouldn't see that as a downside."

* * *

Barbossa, Jack and the supply party had barely left the ship for thirty minutes and already trouble had found _The Black Pearl_.

"There's another ship coming!" cried Elizabeth, drawing her sword.

Buffy grinned. She was starting to like the woman more and more. "So are these guys bad?" she ventured, slipping into her own fighting stance. "Cos to me, these pirates all seem the same."

"Not bad exactly," Elizabeth explained. "Just not on our side."

The other ship swung round hard to the port side and immediately swarms of oriental pirates began to board, filling the air as they swung aboard. Buffy ducked down low and swept her leg out fast, tripping the newcomers who made it on deck. She pulled out a sword from one of the fallen and slashed out in an arc, the metal ringing as it met another blade.

"And what side are we on?"

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as she buried her sword into a pirate's chest. "These days I'm not really sure. But the best advice I can give you is to look after yourself, because no-one else will." She frowned. "There's no honour amongst pirates. Don't believe a word anyone says."

"So why I should I trust you?"

Elizabeth bit her lip. "Good point. Duck!"

Elizabeth's sword met just above Buffy's head, blocking a blow that would have severed her head. Elizabeth moved her other arm quickly and slit the man's windpipe with a small dagger.

"Thanks."

Elizabeth nodded. "You're welcome."

_The Black Pearl_ was immediately overwhelmed with sheer volume of numbers. It hadn't helped that the Chinese crew who had been onboard with them had mutinied; joining with the invading pirates. It was also a slight disadvantage that the Slayer code had always strictly forbidden her from harming humans, though Buffy managed to get as many punches and as much non lethal maiming in as she could. There were a ring of unconscious pirates surrounding her before she was finally bound.

"Are you alright?" she hissed in Elizabeth's ear, as they stood handcuffed next to each other on deck. The young woman nodded, though she looked extremely angry. Will was nowhere to be seen. "Who's the bald Chinese guy?"

"Sao Feng."

"Right," she swallowed. "That means nothing to me."

"The last time we saw him, his bathhouse got blown up."

"Well that explains the murderous look in his eyes then. I'd hate it if someone destroyed my bathroom too." Buffy sighed as Jack and Barbossa clambered aboard. "And here comes more trouble."

She wiggled her hands in her handcuffs and began to silently try to slip her fingers out of her shackles. Despite being dead, her slayer flexibility was still as good as it had ever been, and this time dislocating her fingers didn't hurt in the slightest. Apparently being dead meant pain was not an issue. Tuned out of the conversation that was happening around her, she'd just managed to twist her left hand out of one of the cuffs when she felt a ripple of laughter run round the crew.

"Captain Turner?" blinked Jack incredulously.

"What the hell is Will up to?" she hissed in Elizabeth's ear, but the other woman was too focused on her fiancé to even notice she'd been spoken to.

"Aye, the perfidious rotter led a mutiny against us," said Gibbs.

'Well,' thought Buffy, 'that certainly explained why they'd been overwhelmed so quickly.'

"I need _The Pearl_ to free my father," said Will as Elizabeth's shackles were undone. "That's the only reason I came on this voyage."

Once released, Elizabeth strode towards Will, her expression black. As the crew slipped forwards to fill her place, Buffy inched backwards so that she was now wedged between the rigging and more of the crew.

"Why didn't you tell me you were planning this?" demanded Elizabeth.

Will refused to look at her. "It was my burden to bear."

Buffy rolled her eyes and continued to surreptitiously free her other hand. If she could only move her fingers slightly to the right she would have both hands free.

"Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?" said Jack indignantly.

Buffy smiled slightly as the monkey raised his hand.

"I'm standing over there with them," said Sparrow, but before he could move Sao Feng had gripped the back of his neck and he was caught fast.

"I'm sorry, Jack. But there is an old friend who wants to see you first."

"I'm not certain I can survive anymore visits from old friends."

"Here's your chance to find out," said Sao Feng, pointing to the horizon.

Buffy's heart sank. "Oh great. More ships."

* * *

As swarms of soldiers boarded _The Black Pearl_ and Will and Elizabeth were shackled (again) Buffy watched from her position in the rigging. It had been only a moments work to slip unnoticed away from the crew and up into the air where the sails billowed and kept her from being spotted. And then she bumped into a familiar face.

"Fred!" She gave the boy a hug. "I wondered where you'd gone to."

He frowned and touched his neck. "I had to hide from the soldiers."

"Oh." Buffy shifted uncomfortably. They'd never talked about how and why Fred had died, but she'd known it hadn't been pleasant. "Right. You stay here with me then."

She watched as Barbossa and Sao Feng bartered amongst themselves, even as Elizabeth and Will watched with growing apprehension from the side.

"Is it just me, or are you having a hard time keeping up with who is double-crossing who?"

Fred shrugged. "They're pirates. It's what they do."

"Well I wish when they did it they had diagrams and signs to explain what was happening," Buffy grouched. "This would be so much easier if Giles was here."

Fred smiled at the mention of her Watcher. They'd had plenty of time being dead to exchange stories and Buffy's father figure had come up many times. "Well, these soldiers are British if that helps. East India Trading Company. They're bad by the way. For pirates at least."

"Cops of the ocean. Gotcha. Oh no," Buffy squinted. "What's Feng face up to with Elizabeth?"

"They're arguing again."

"And now she's hitting Will. Those two really need to kiss and make up." Buffy crept a little further down the mast and hooking her ankles over one of the yard arms she hung upside down to listen to the conversation.

"Then we have an accord?" said Barbossa eagerly, watching Sao Feng and Elizabeth.

"Aye." The Chinese Captain wasted no time in releasing the young woman from her bonds and even as Will protested she was led from _The Black Pearl _to Feng's vessel_ The Empress_.

"Here we go again," said Buffy, swinging herself back up. "I'm following Elizabeth-I don't trust her alone with that lot even if they do think she's a goddess. You," and she grabbed Fred's shoulders, "stay on _The Pearl_ where at least you'll be safe…ish", she amended seeing the look on his face. "And no following me this time. I'll go grab Elizabeth and be back before you can say pieces of eight."

As Elizabeth had saved her life it seemed only fair to repay the debt. It was a simple matter for Buffy to slip onboard in all of the confusion, especially when all three ships began firing upon one another, and Buffy officially gave up on trying to figure out who was on whose side. She briefly spotted Jack flying through the air in a daring swing that impressed even her Slayer sense of grace and balance, before hiding herself away in an unused storage cupboard. She was content to wait for the opportune moment to knock out Sao Feng, rescue Elizabeth and get herself off the ship. Preferably in that order.

* * *

"The plan would have worked if everyone didn't keep blowing each other up," Buffy muttered to herself.

She'd been fully prepared to rescue Elizabeth as night had fallen. Instead _The Dutchman_ had attacked them. Now, in place of rescuing her friend from Sao Feng's lust, Buffy had found herself on an empty ship being towed behind Davy Jones' ship, realizing that she would have to sneak aboard _The Dutchman_ before it sailed away with Elizabeth now captive on it.

Which was why the Slayer found herself landing with an ungraceful splat on the deck of _The Dutchman _sometime later. There hadn't seemed an easier way to get aboard but to dive off one ship and swim to the other.

"This is getting old fast," she muttered to herself, adjusting her soaked clothing, checking her (stolen) sword was still attached to her (also stolen) belt. She spat a lungful of seawater overboard, grateful for her immortality at times like these. At least the plus side of already being dead was that you couldn't die anymore.

"Buffy?" she glanced up to see Elizabeth and a rather good looking man in naval uniform staring at her. "What are you doing here?"

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "Well I was coming to rescue you, but Team Buffy now seems a bit redundant." She eyed the rope slung between _The Empress_ and _The Dutchman_. "And that would have been a much easier way to cross." She waved an arm at the officer, who looked the picture of bemusement. "Well, carry on with your rescue, I'll follow after you."

Elizabeth shook her head and then turned to the man at her side, obviously continuing an earlier conversation. "Come with us. James, come with me."

Buffy began to wringing out her hair for what seemed like the nth time, when she noticed someone coming towards them, and they didn't look particularly friendly.

"Sorry to interrupt this heartwarming reunion but we've got trouble coming."

Elizabeth paled. "Bootstrap."

"Who goes there?" The sailor called out into the dark.

The man, James, urged Elizabeth onto the ropes. "Go. I will follow."

"You're lying."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Now's not really the time," she said in a sing song tone. "Live first, argue later."

Fortunately James seemed to agree with her. "Our destinies have been entwined, Elizabeth...but never joined." He kissed her and then urged her further onto the ropes. "Go! Now!"

Elizabeth disappeared into the night sky as James turned to the threat currently coming their way. "Back to your station, sailor."

In the moonlight Buffy couldn't repress a wince at the nature of the man's condition as he slowly morphed into one of Jones' sea monsters. On the other hand he was clearly not human and therefore slayable. She grinned into the darkness. Finally.

"No one leaves the ship."

James had drawn his own sword. "Stand down. That's an order!"

This was clearly getting them nowhere. Buffy drew her own weapon and nudged the man closer to the ropes. "Go."

"I won't leave a woman onboard a ship such as this!"

Buffy remained unimpressed. "Well, that's…very chivalrous of you, but I'm in far less danger of dying than you are. So go."

"I really must protes-"

"Ladies first," she said and unceremoniously pushed him over the side so that he had to clutch at the rope to hang on.

"But miss-"

"I'll. Be. Fine," she said through gritted teeth. She gripped her sword tighter as Bootstrap began to bellow into the frigid night air.

"All hands, prisoner escape!"

James was still hanging there. Buffy raised an eyebrow. "As touching as you hanging on is, you better drop into the sea before I make you."

"I-"

"Oh for the love of-"

She cut the line between the ships. The man fell into the water, and as she peered over the side she could just make him swimming over to Elizabeth who was bobbing in the waves as well, her face watching the unfolding scene in horror.

Well, it was always nice to have an audience.

She turned back to face the oncoming hoards of sailors. She dodged a lunge from Bootstrap, her sword neatly slicing off a fin from a member of Jones' crew who was sneaking up behind her. Unfortunately she found herself backed herself up against the side railing, watching as Davy Jones himself walked up to her, his tentacles gleaming in the lamplight.

She couldn't help the look of disgust that passed over her face.

"Do you fear death?"

Buffy managed a wry smile. "Been there, done that. I'd have got the t-shirt but it's not that kind of place."

Jones snorted at her arrogance and she lunged at him. It was a direct hit through his chest, but it didn't seem to affect him at all as he drew her sword out of himself.

"I take that as a no." He thrust the sword back at her, and it slid easily into her heart.

Nothing happened. There was no agonizing death rattle, no scream as blood gushed over her clothes. She smiled her cat's grin at the look of confusion that passed across the Captain's face as she pulled the cutlass out of her body.

"Looks like I can do that trick too."

There had been no pain, and briefly brushing her fingers over where she'd been stabbed, she was fairly sure that when she stripped her shirt off later there would be no wound either. But now wasn't exactly the time to debate why. She had an angry, confused squid captain staring at her in disbelief to deal with first.

"You look familiar, have I eaten one of your relatives?"

Jones sucked in a breath in fury.

She winced as she replayed that sentence in her head. Okay, perhaps not the best conversation starter.

Before he had a chance to try to kill her again she swung her sword, slicing off a tentacle before throwing herself overboard, in a rather shoddy attempt at a dive.

There was a shout of rage from above her before she hit the waves hard. Barely pausing she broke into strong strokes and in far less time than she'd thought she was wearily clambering aboard _The Empress_. A strong hand grabbed her shirt and heaved her onto the deck and she sank onto the wooden floor gratefully. Elizabeth was peering over her in concern.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, just peachy," she muttered and threw the still wriggling tentacle from Jones at her. "Here, have a souvenir."

Elizabeth held the squirming tentacle in-between her thumb and index finger and raised a brow. "Thanks."

She managed a weary smile at her friend's sarcasm. "You're welcome. Where'd Mr Melodrama go?"

"If you are referring to me madam, then I am here."

Buffy lifted her head at the masculine tone and found him watching her from his position on top of a stack of crates. He'd shed his coat and wig and Buffy found herself admiring his features, realizing it must have been his hand that had hauled her aboard.

"So you did make it then."

"My grateful thanks for your determination to secure my safety, lady. Though how you yourself didn't end up dead, I have no idea. I was sure that Jones had killed you."

She brushed aside his suspicious tone. "I have a few tricks up my sleeves. And I'm not the first person to narrowly escape certain death."

He had to concede that. "Yes, I've met several men who fit that description, my lady."

"Buffy, please." She sat herself up and held out her hand. "We haven't been properly introduced. You are...?"

"James Norrington." He slid his hand into hers and they shook. She enjoyed the sensation of his warm heat sinking into her permanently cool flesh, his firm grip against her fingers, her hand lingering in his perhaps longer than was strictly necessary. He helped her up from the floor and she let go reluctantly.

"Cold hands."

"Well," said Elizabeth, "that's because she's -"

"-just been for a swim in the ocean twice," said Buffy glaring at her friend. She sent James a fleeting grin and then shivered as the wind whipped through her soaked clothing. She wasn't really cold; it was just a reflex action that her body still had memorized from when she was alive. Things it still did unnecessarily, like blinking or breathing, but which made her feel more human, and less… odd.

"Come, we should change out of our attire before we catch our death."

Buffy hid a smile at his unintentional choice of phrase. "Great. And then, Captain?" She turned to her friend. "What's our heading?"

Elizabeth pursed her lips. "Shipwreck Cove. We need to get to the Brethren Court; I've got a battle to arrange."

Buffy waited until Norrington was out of hearing distance before she turned to the other woman. "Listen, Elizabeth, I'd really appreciate if you didn't mention my extreme deadness in front of cute guys. It tends to put them off. "

Elizabeth's eyebrow rose. "Why? He's going to find out sooner or later."

"Yeah, and I'd prefer it to be later. Way later." She looked at her friend pointedly. "And you're one to talk about secrets. Since when do you kiss guys other than Will?"

Elizabeth had the grace to blush. "James kissed me- not the other way round! And besides, he thought he was going to die."

"Details," said Buffy, brushing them away with her hand. "Who else have you kissed?"

"Just Jack."

"And I suppose he was going to die as well?"

"Actually," said Elizabeth, "he did."

"Oh. Is that why you and Will have this weird tension thing going on?"

Elizabeth nodded morosely.

"Just tell him I sent my first lover to Hell," said Buffy evenly. "That'll really put things in perspective for him."

* * *

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	2. Hell Is A Place On Earth

**Feedback**: Like a mermaid needs water. Feedback and criticism (but only constructive) is welcomed and appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: You all know the drill. I don't own any of the BTVS characters or POTC characters, because if I did Captain Jack would be my own personal cabin boy ;)

**Rating**: T

**Summary**: Set during POTC: At World's End and post 'The Gift' Season 5 of BTVS. Tia Dalma had seemed so sure when she said that everyone who'd died were at rest. Clearly she'd never met Buffy…

Oh and to clear up any confusion regarding Fred. He is the little boy who is hanged at the start of POTC: At World's End

* * *

Wind and sea and cloud and cloud-forsaking  
Mirth of moonlight where the storm leaves free  
Heaven awhile, for all the wrath of waking  
Wind and sea.

Bright with glad mad rapture, fierce with glee,  
Laughs the moon, borne on past cloud's o'ertaking  
Fast, it seems, as wind or sail can flee.

One blown sail beneath her, hardly making  
Forth, wild-winged for harbourage yet to be,  
Strives and leaps and pants beneath the breaking  
Wind and sea.

**Algernon Charles Swinburne, 'A Night Piece by Millet.'**

* * *

She'd been right.

There was no wound where tentacle dude had stabbed her, only a large rip in her shirt where the blade had torn through the cloth.

Not even a scar, just a tear in the fabric to show she'd been knifed in the heart.

Conclusion?

Death had given her an upgrade. Slayer healing 2.0.

Buffy frowned and poked her finger through the hole, wiggling it back and forth, before tossing the ruined shirt over her head and pulling on a spare she found in one of the cabin's many boxes.

She hadn't noticed any difference in her healing the first time she'd died. Then again, that time she'd come back alive. This time she was still technically dead. She wrinkled her nose as she slipped on a dry pair of breeches (but no dry boots or underwear, so wet feet and commando it was) and wondered what that made her now.

A zombie? But then again she didn't really have the whole desperate urge for brains or gross personal hygiene.

A vampire? But she could walk in the sun, had a reflection, no allergy to silver nor the desire to drain the pirates dry. She bet that staking her wouldn't have much effect either.

Which begged the question – just how indestructible was she?

If someone cut off her head would she grow a new one back? Or did she just have to stick her head by her body and it would reattach itself, the cells multiplying, nerves slowly re-growing, flesh bubbling up and reforming until there wasn't even a circular scar running around her neck like a choker.

If a cannon blew her to bits, would her body parts attract back to each other? She briefly imagined her arms and legs slowly drawing closer to each other over the ship's floor, an eye rolling back into her skull, her tongue inching its way over the deck leaving a trail of bloodied saliva as it headed for her mouth. Toenails skittering along the wood as they went to be re-embedded in her toes.

And now she was grossing herself out.

* * *

When Buffy reemerged from the Captain's cabin some time later Elizabeth and Norrington were engaged in a heated debate.

"James, you're not thinking clearly anymore. That dip in the ocean must have frozen what remained of your common sense." Elizabeth was frowning, her forehead creased and her eyes sparking with anger.

Norrington on the other hand was leaning lazily against the ship's mast, his arms folded across his chest, fingers rhythmically tapping against his arm. "I assure you, I am thinking perfectly clearly," he replied coolly. "It certainly seems a better plan than for me to remain here with your adopted motley crew who wouldn't hesitate to scalp me, had they the chance. At least Sparrow would give me the courtesy of a warning." He snorted. "Admittedly that would be unnecessary considering one can catch the stench of his rum addled personage before one sees him."

Buffy eyed the two of them in the uncomfortable silence that followed, both Elizabeth and Norrington refusing to give an inch. Buffy finished tucking in her shirt and readjusted her sword belt, the blade now hanging from her side. She patted it reassuringly before opening her mouth.

"What's going on?"

Elizabeth shot Norrington a dark look. "James wants to come with me to the Brethren Court."

"Oh," said Buffy curiously, one eyebrow rising as she looked him up and down. "You've got a death wish. Gotcha."

"Miss Summers, I am hardly suicidal," Norrington replied evenly. "But I believe that my chances of survival are greater in there with pirates that I know I can't trust, than to remain on board here with pirates I simply don't know."

"Better the devil you know, huh?" Buffy reconsidered. "He may have a point, Liz."

Elizabeth pursed her lips in displeasure. "Don't tell me you're agreeing with him now?"

"I didn't say that." Buffy fingered her sword as a light breeze ruffled her hair, whipping it around her face in a halo of blonde strands. "But we both know that at the moment he seems to be on everyone's 'To Die' list. At least if he's with you, you can protect him."

A strange gleam came into Elizabeth's eyes. "Or…you could protect him if you stayed here." A slow smile began to cross her face. "Yes. If I leave you in command here, you can make sure my crew doesn't kill him, and I know my ship will be in safe hands whilst I'm at the Brethren Court."

Buffy shook her head vigorously. "On the scale of bad plans, that's heading towards dangerously stupid. I don't know the first thing about keeping order on a ship, or in fact anything about ships except for the fact that I'm on one. And who's going to be watching you?" Buffy pouted. "You're not putting me on babysitting duty."

Elizabeth just shot her a look. "I've seen you fight- you can handle the crew so James is in capable hands. Plus, we both know I can look after myself."

"Sao Feng. Flying Dutchmen. Prison. Man of a thousand tentacles. Any of this ringing any bells?"

"We were already escaping," Elizabeth pointed out, "when you arrived."

"The point is that you needed rescuing. Again!"

"You've never had to rescue me before."

"No," said Buffy evenly, "but I've heard the stories from Jack and Will about what got you into this mess in the first place."

Elizabeth had the grace to flush. "That was not my fault."

"My point is you're way too jeopardy friendly," said Buffy, jabbing a finger in Elizabeth's direction. She pointed the other at Norrington. "And he's just in jeopardy, so why don't we all go to the Brethren Court and I can keep an eye and a sword on you both."

Norrington cleared his throat. "If you've both finished talking about me as though I'm not here, may I say something?"

"No," the two women replied.

A sudden cry from the crow's nest cut off any further argument. "Shipwreck Cove, dead ahead!"

Suddenly the ship was crawling with life as the pirates emerged from deep within the bowels of the vessel, clambering over rigging to check the sails as if they had been born in the ropes and the air was their natural home.

Elizabeth shrugged on her coat and hat that she'd left lying casually over a palette of crates. "Look, I don't have time to argue with you anymore."

"Good," said Buffy as the beautifully haunting sight of Shipwreck Cove slid into view. "I win."

"Pardon? I hardly think-"

"Two against one, right James?"

Norrington's blue eyes darkened as he nodded, a small smirk crossing his features. "I am afraid you are defeated by democracy, Elizabeth."

"Yeah, what he said."

Elizabeth threw up her hands in defeat and adjusted her sword. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you both."

"Captain!"

And then Elizabeth turned away and began to direct her crew into the port, leaving the two of them stood watching the ghostly lights of the Cove slide past them as the ship eased through the water.

"I feel I should thank you, Miss Summers," said Norrington quietly, his eyes fixed on the moored shadowy vessels. "Elizabeth can be quite determined when she wants to be."

"I've already told you, call me Buffy. And no problem." Buffy waved a hand vaguely in the air. "If there's gonna be trouble we might as well all be there to share in the fun. You know what they say 'friends who stay together…generally get killed together…" she trailed off and then began to hastily backtrack. "Not that that's going to happen. I'm sure we'll all live long and prosper. Or at least live anyway."

"Your optimism is touching." Norrington's expression was something she recognized as dryly amused. "But realistically the likelihood of any of us surviving this is slim to none. The fact that all of us have so far is nothing short of miraculous."

"That's what I love about you Brits," said Buffy slyly. "You always look on the bright side of things."

"We are indeed a nation of optimists." They shared a wry look and then moved out of the way as five wiry pirates passed by carrying lengths of rope and a pile of assorted weaponry. Buffy reached out and snagged a wickedly curved dagger from the sack of one of the pirates, slipping it into her right boot wordlessly.

When she looked back up Norrington was watching her curiously, as though she were a puzzle he couldn't quite work out. Or (said a voice in her head that sounded a lot like Jack) as though he were trying to find out where all the rum had gone.

"If you don't mind my asking, how did you become entangled in this affair?"

"You mean what's a nice sword wielding girl like me doing in a pirate infested place like this?" She grinned. "Oh you know- it's the usual story. There was a big 'ol portal of doom, and then a lot of very small boats." At Norrington's bemused expression Buffy shrugged. "Short version is there was a mistake somewhere," Buffy turned vaguely reproachful eyes heavenward and then back to the bustle around her spreading her arms wide, "and now I'm paying for it."

"And the long version?"

Buffy shook her head and watched as the sails were folded back up and the ship creaked dangerously as they eased into the docks. "It gets complicated and messed up, and before you know it I'm doing the whole 'one girl in all the world' spiel and that's really Giles' job. All you need to know is that Elizabeth and the gang turned up and I hijacked their boat until they let me stay and then there were a lot of pirates and weird fish people. And then I saved you and now we're here."

Norrington cleared his throat. "I see."

Buffy smirked. "You sound like Giles if I mention Vera Wang and Givenchy."

"Pardon?"

"Nevermind." Buffy shook her head. "What about you? How'd you get involved?"

Norrington's eyes slid from the harbour before them to the other female aboard the ship. "The woman I loved was kidnapped by pirates."

"Oh." Buffy's eyes widened slightly and she glanced quickly back to where Elizabeth was barracking several of her crew as they dropped anchor. "You and Elizabeth, huh?"

Norrington nodded sharply and his expression (though he hid it well) was aggrieved. "At one point we were engaged."

Buffy winced. "Sorry."

"Why? It's not your fault. Neither was it Elizabeth's. I was rather foolish, I fear." Norrington's smile was so self deprecating it was almost painful. "When the woman you love agrees to marry you in order to use it as a bargaining chip to force you to rescue another man, it is not exactly what one would call an auspicious start."

"So you ended it?"

"She did actually. In front of a large crowd of my officers and the townspeople."

"Wow. And I thought my relationships ended badly. That's a whole other level of implosion."

"Quite."

Buffy leaned her elbows on the top of the ship's rail and propped her hand in her chin. "Still doesn't explain how a British naval officer ends up on a ship with a bunch of sea monsters."

James looked at her, eyes hard and wary. "You wish to know which side I am on."

"No," said Buffy. "I already know that. You saved Elizabeth; you tried to save me. You're navy so of course the pirates don't particularly like you, but then they don't particularly like anyone, not even each other." Buffy shrugged. "I'd say you were one of the good guys."

Norrington however, looked pensive. "How can you be so sure? Some days I don't even know myself."

"Well that settles it then," said Buffy evenly. "If you're brooding then you're definitely good."

"I'm afraid I lack your conviction. How can you tell a monster from a man?"

"Around here that's pretty easy," Buffy replied dryly. "For a start you haven't got tentacles." She fingered her sword and leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially. "Can't say that about most of the people I've met lately."

The edges of Norrington's mouth curved slightly and she continued.

"You look 100% human and intact to me. In these parts that seems to make you practically a saint." She paused and eyed him up and down. "Of course, I'd have to more closely examine you to be sure…"

The gang plank smacked down hard onto the dock.

Buffy offered Norrington a knowing smirk and walked over to where Elizabeth was preparing to disembark, hips swaying as she felt his eyes on her back.

Elizabeth crossed her arms and shot her friend a look.

"What?" said Buffy innocently. "Can't a dead girl have a little fun around here?"

* * *

By the time they had made port, scrambled up through the shanty town of ship's skeletons that made up the fortress that was Shipwreck Cove the meeting of the Pirate Lords was already well under way.

Or rather, the argument was well underway.

"Might I point out that we are still short one pirate lord," came the voice of Jack as Elizabeth and her crew made their way up the winding staircase that led into the bowels of the chamber room. "And I'm content as a cucumber to wait until Sao Feng joins us."

Buffy grinned. "I think that's your cue."

"Sao Feng is dead," said Elizabeth flatly as she stalked into the room. "He fell to the Flying Dutchman."

Jack rolled his eyes. "And made _you_ Captain? They're just giving the bloody title away now."

His eyes narrowed as he spotted Norrington standing behind Buffy.

(Not that he'd had much choice; the petite blonde slayer had spent most of the long walk up into the inner city creating colourful, graphic images of what she would do to him if he moved from the protection that being behind her afforded him.)

"And look what else the sea cat dragged in. If it isn't me old chum, Commodore-Not-Commodore-Demoted-Washed-Up-Norrington." Jack fingered the coin hanging from his bandana lazily. "Last time I saw you, you were running off screaming into the forest."

"At least I took Jones' heart with me. All you were left with was a jar of dirt." Norrington's mouth curled into a sneer. "How did that work out for you, by the way?"

Jack's fingers casually dropped to his pistol.

Buffy rolled her eyes and interrupted their posturing impatiently. "Threaten each other in your own time. Liz has something important to say."

"Our location has been betrayed," the other woman continued. "Jones is under the command of Lord Beckett; they're on their way here."

"Who is this betrayer?" asked one of the pirates assembled round the table.

Barbossa frowned. "Not likely anyone among us."

Elizabeth cast her gaze around the assembled pirates. "Where's Will?"

"Not among us," replied Jack dryly.

Barbossa shrugged. "It matters not how they found us. The question is what will we do now that they have?

"We fight!" demanded Elizabeth.

Beside her Buffy tapped her fingers gently against her sword, cast her gaze around the room and tried to pinpoint weaknesses in the other pirates.

One of them, a middle aged Chinese woman wearing thick white face paint shook her head. "Shipwreck Cove is a fortress, a well supplied fortress. There is no need to fight if they cannot get to us."

There were rumbles of agreement.

"There is a third course," Barbossa began. "In another age, at this very spot, the first court captured the sea goddess, and bound her in her bones. That was a mistake. Oh, we tamed the seas for ourselves, aye, but opened the door to Beckett and his ilk. Better were the days when mastery of seas came not from bargains struck with eldritch creatures, but from the sweat of a man's brow and the strength of his back alone. Y'all know this to be true." He paused dramatically and spread his arms wide. "Gentlemen. Ladies. We must free Calypso."

There were various calls for Barbossa to be dismembered and/or otherwise mutilated.

"Calypso was our enemy then, she will be our enemy now." The African pirate who had spoken earlier was scornful.

One of the other pirates in a thick brocaded coat nodded. "And it's not likely her mood's improved."

Buffy stuck her hand up. "And um, speaking from personal experience releasing a goddess is a really bad idea. Like kill everyone dead, take over the world, jump into a portal and send you back three centuries kind of bad."

There was silence as everyone looked at her.

Buffy shrugged defensively. "I'm just saying it's a bad idea."

"I would still agree with Barbossa, we release Calypso!" shouted out someone else.

Buffy tamped down on the urge to bash her head against the wall. Or better yet, someone else's head against a wall.

"You threaten me?" said a pirate Buffy couldn't see.

"I silence you!"

And that was when all hell broke loose.

Buffy deftly caught a dagger lobbed their way, narrowly snatching it inches from Elizabeth's face. Shoving a startled Norrington down on the floor by her feet, she swung her sword out and deflected an empty pistol that had been thrown in rage, at the same time yanking Norrington up and behind her again as a stray bullet lodged in the floor. She shoved him back down again just as an axe embedded itself into the wood where his head had been.

Norrington looked at the axe and then back to Buffy. She smiled brightly, the violence having made her eyes sparkle.

"Has anyone ever told you, you are a most unusual woman?"

Buffy grinned and knocked a pirate unconscious. She cracked her knuckles. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Elizabeth meanwhile was shaking her head aghast. "This is madness!"

"This is politics," explained Jack, sidestepping a punch and wrinkling his nose.

"Clearly you've never had to organise Prom before. A committee of hormonal teenage girls bitching about what the theme should be." Buffy shuddered. "I take the pirates any day."

"Meanwhile our enemies are bearing down upon us," murmured Elizabeth despairingly.

"If they not be here already," agreed Barbossa.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "If you want some order why don't you fire your pistol in the air?" She smacked a chair over the head of a heavily tattooed man who wobbled but came back screaming at her. "I'd do it but I'm a bit busy. Plus I don't like guns." She broke the wooden chair over his head again so that the seat splintered into several pieces. "They're far too violent." The pirate dropped to the floor as his eyes rolled back in his head.

Elizabeth and Barbossa shared a look.

* * *

Riding her post fight adrenaline high Buffy tuned out most of what happened next, using the time to whittle several of the broken chair legs into stakes. She hadn't seen any vampires yet, but when she eventually made it to dry land she would need something effective against the undead. From Jack's descriptions of Tortuga she knew the place would be crawling with vamps – the living weren't the only ones who enjoyed a bit of debauchery.

Suddenly a low masculine voice murmured in her ear. "We're leaving."

"Hmm?" Buffy glanced up, ignoring the prickling of her skin and glanced around the room. Norrington was right, the pirates were dispersing and Elizabeth was heading towards the doorway. Scrambling to catch up she hurried over and tugged Elizabeth's sleeve as they walked back down the rickety stairway.

"Hey, Liz, what did I miss?"

"Weren't you listening?"

Buffy held up her stakes and waved them in Elizabeth's face. "I was busy."

The other woman sighed. "I got made King of the Pirates and then I declared war."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Wow, first captain and now King. That's one hell of a promotion." She paused. "Do you get a crown or does your hat just get bigger?"

Elizabeth shot her a look.

"Yeah, yeah I know. We're at war and now's apparently not the time to ask about fashion choices." Buffy huffed as her friend merely rolled her eyes and continued on down towards the ship. She rolled her shoulders and secreted her stakes away in her clothing. "It's a valid question. Jack would understand."

From the corner of her eye she noticed Norrington's mouth press into a thin white line at the mention of the other pirate.

But there was little time to try and soothe the ex-commodore's feelings as she suddenly found herself with a small dark haired boy clinging to her leg.

"Fred!" she exclaimed happily. "You're all right."

The boy beamed at her even as a nasty thought began to nag at the back of her mind.

She'd come back from the land of the dead as nigh indestructible. Fred had left with her, so the question was did that make him invulnerable too or was that simply a side effect of her slayer powers?

Casually she wrapped an arm around his bony shoulders, her fingers brushing lightly against the skin of his neck as she did so.

There.

The quiet thrum of a heart beating beneath her fingertips.

She sighed in relief and squeezed him hard against her side. Clearly coming back from the dead to the land of the living made you alive again, just as it had for Barbossa before him.

It appeared it was just her dumb luck to have slayer portal mumbo jumbo mixed into it and screw everything up.

And then another thought struck her.

Fred was alive. They were about to go into a battle.

She swallowed down the familiar sinking feeling that had crept into her throat and pasted on a smile as they crossed the gangplank onto the ship.

And there was Jack waiting for them. Beside her Norrington tensed.

The sinking feeling reared back up with a vengeance and she suddenly took decisive action.

"Have you eaten anything today?" she asked Fred gently.

When the boy shook his head she put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him toward the galley. "Go and eat something and take James with you."

Norrington's eyes strayed to Jack. The pirate was grinning at him. "Buffy," he objected. "I-"

"You can't have eaten since last night," she interrupted loudly, steering them both towards the stairs. "Fred, take James with you. He needs feeding up."

"Don't you want something?" Norrington asked. "I haven't seen you eat either."

She shrugged. "I'm not hungry." And it was true. The thought of food was a pleasant idea, but rather like a half remembered dream. It appeared the dead didn't calorie count either. She wondered vaguely what would happen if she did eat something and grimaced at the horrible images that passed through her mind.

Norrington must have noticed her look because he appeared troubled but she smiled hastily and shoved him down the stairs, grabbing his elbow just before he left.

"Don't tell him you used to be navy," she hissed in his ear and motioned to the boy's neck.

Norrington nodded and let himself be taken downstairs by the thin grubby cabin boy, his eyes flickering back to the Jack's at the last moment. His gaze wasn't friendly.

She turned back to the incorrigible Captain who opened his arms wide, both hands clutching half empty bottles of rum and grinned. "Hello love, I didn't get to say hello properly to you before, what with you having a former commodore stuck to you."

Buffy simply smiled and hoisted herself up to sit on a cannon. "I hope you're going to play nice, Jack. I'd hate to have to break my favourite pirate."

Jack looked wounded. "You're choosing him over me?"

"I'm not choosing anyone. But I'm a sucker for the underdog, and you have to admit, he does have a slight disadvantage in being outnumbered. You know, him being just one person and you having a whole fleet of pirate pals."

"Norrington's not as helpless as you make him out. He's dangerous." Jack paused and looked at her seriously. "Certainly caused me enough trouble over the years."

"You almost sound like you admire him."

"You must be hearing things, love." He leaned back and offered her one of his bottles.

She took a swig and wrinkled her nose. "I don't know how you drink this stuff."

"Practice."

She snorted but took another swig. "So what's your next move?"

Jack smiled. "What makes you think I'm in charge?"

"You're Captain Jack Sparrow."

"And never forget it," he replied, an amused glint in his eye. "If you really want to know, love, I'm going to exchange myself for young rascally William, get myself aboard Cutler Beckett's ship, win this war and then retire somewhere warm with women soaked in rum and live out a long and lascivious old age aboard my Pearl."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I missed the part where you actually explained how you were going to win."

"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, love," he clarified. "That's how we win."

* * *

Several hours later, Will was clambering aboard as per Jack's instructions and Norrington was watching it all unfold in silence.

"Well," said Buffy, collapsing the telescope, "that seemed to go to plan."

Norrington snorted derisively. "The witless wonder has a strategy?"

Buffy ignored him and cocked a grin at Will as Elizabeth clambered onboard behind him. "Nice to have you back again."

Will smiled and then turned to James who was standing close to Buffy. "Norrington."

"Turner."

Buffy rolled her eyes and sidled up to Elizabeth. "Don't look now Liz, but your ex's are squaring up for a macho man contest. They've already started the 'I will only address you by your surname' game and soon they'll be moving onto cheap shots about who has a bigger-"

Elizabeth coughed.

"…sword," Buffy finished, fingering her own blade, having had enough of attempting to mediate between Norrington and everyone else. "Do you want me to sort them out?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I'd prefer to have them both intact, thank you."

"They'd be intact," objected Buffy, pouting. "They just wouldn't be conscious. I'd consider that a plus."

Elizabeth merely shot her a look.

"What? First I'm not allowed to ask about the hat and now I can't even punch anyone?" She pouted miserably. "This trip just gets worse and worse."

* * *

That of course was before she heard Barbossa's bedroom voice and it began to rain crabs.

"As far as goddesses go, I'm actually starting to prefer Glory," muttered Buffy as she picked one of the eight legged monsters out of her hair and flung it overboard with relish.

Overhead, dark clouds began to gather.

Barbossa's shoulders sank. "The final hope has failed us."

Buffy threw a crab at him.

"You've been dead, resurrected, gone to the edge of the world and over, escaped the Locker, survived a Pirate Committee and released a goddess…and this is the moment you choose to give up?" She shrugged. "So Tia was as useful as a pair of Jimmy Choos in the middle of the Caribbean and it's beginning to rain. Look on the bright side."

"Which is?"

"We're not dead."

"Aye, but we soon might be," added Gibbs helpfully. "We do have an armada against us and with the Dutchman at the lead, there's no chance."

"Only a fool's chance," countered Elizabeth, a mad grin crossing her face.

"Precisely," agreed Buffy. "And since most of the time that fool is Jack and he scrapes through we can totally win."

"But Jack is not aboard this vessel. He's onboard the ship that has its cannon trained on us," Barbossa pointed out, eyeing them warily as the rain began to come down more heavily. "And as for you, Miss Swann, revenge won't bring your father back, and it's not something I'm intending to die for."

And then as Buffy watched, Liz got her resolve face on. "No? Then what shall we die for?"

Beside her Buffy fingered her sword and smirked.

* * *

As the colours were hoisted and Elizabeth took charge the storm finally broke.

Buffy sighed as she was instantly drenched. "This is familiar." She clung onto a rope and wiped her face, straining to see the other fleet of ships through the driving rain.

"Enjoying the weather?"

"Oh, everything's just peachy. I can totally pull off the drowned rat look." She shrugged and eyed James blackly. "You know, everyone says the Caribbean is hot, but most of my time here I've spent either soggy or totally drenched." She shot him a sidelong glance. "Don't think by the way that I haven't realised you still haven't told me what you were doing on that ship."

"You have not told me your version either, but we have little time now," he agreed as the ship readied itself for battle.

"I'll give you a deal," she replied, strapping another blade to her body and turning to go down the steps. "We survive the battle- you tell me your version and maybe I'll tell you the long version."

Norrington's strong, wiry fingers clasped hers and he smiled. "We have an accord."

Buffy grinned back at him and began to descend down to the deck as Elizabeth yelled over the sound of the waves crashing against the ship.

"Barbossa! We need you at the helm!"

"Aye, that be true! Brace up yards, dying is the day worth living for!" He shot a look at Buffy as he passed her on the stairs. "Though the two states appear to not be mutually exclusive in your own case, Miss Summers."

She shot him a fierce grin and as the cannons began to fire, the ships crashed into each other. Wood splintered into fragments and the world burst into a Technicolor of flame, blood and shrapnel shot, the sound of screaming filling the air.

Finally Buffy felt at home.

* * *

Slayer sliding instantly to the fore, instinct had taken over and guided her through the familiar movements. Her sword was merely an extension of her arm, sweeping through the air cleanly, hacking a swathe through the sea monsters as they swung aboard, blood flowing over the decks as the rain lashed at them, and the ships swirled ever tighter in the maelstrom.

She danced over the ship, slicing and dicing as she went, ever graceful. Which is when she spotted Fred up in the rigging and fighting off something that looked as though it were inside out. Snatching a rope that had come loose in the raging winds, she took a running jump and swung herself round the ship, using the momentum to back flip up into the rigging. She landed gracefully and managed to get a decent stab before the creature knew what was happening. With another slice of her sword the creature's head fell from it's shoulders, the body flopping back to the deck below.

Covered in thick black blood Buffy offered the boy a wild eyed grin, and ruffled his hair. "Watch yourself, Fred," she murmured before flipping back down to land gracefully on top of a cannon on deck.

She swung herself over, decapitating something scaly and vicious and found herself back to back with Elizabeth.

"Alright, Liz?" she called over the din of the storm. Elizabeth nodded and stabbed one of Beckett's soldiers.

"I've just got married!" she yelled over the raging storm.

Buffy beamed as she decapitated a squid man. "Congratulations!" She hesitated. "It is to Will, right?"

"Of course it's to Will!" Elizabeth retorted.

"Just checking."

She blocked the claw swinging down towards her head, parrying the blow and slashing at something with a gaping hole where it's mouth should be, stinking black blood leaking from it's gaping maw.

And suddenly above the sound of the storm and the clash of steel she could hear James, distantly, shouting her name.

"Buffy! Watch out!"

Absently she realized Elizabeth was screaming.

But there wasn't even time to turn.

* * *

**Please Read and Review! **

**Apologies for the huge delay in between the first chapter and this one, I got very distracted writing other fics and this sort of got neglected. Sorry to my absolutely wonderful reviewers however, who gave me some lovely lovely reviews.**

**Almost as lovely as Captain Jack Sparrow, a bottle of rum and a Carribean sunset. **

**You guys are fantastic. **


	3. Between Pirates and Paradise

**Feedback**: Like a mermaid needs water. Feedback and criticism (but only constructive) is welcomed and appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: You all know the drill. I don't own any of the BTVS characters or POTC characters, because if I did Captain Jack would be my own personal cabin boy ;)

**Rating**: T

**Summary**: Set during POTC: At World's End and post 'The Gift' Season 5 of BTVS. Tia Dalma had seemed so sure when she said that everyone who'd died were at rest. Clearly she'd never met Buffy…

* * *

O Ocean vast! We heard thy song with wonder,  
Whilst waves marked time.  
"Appear, O Truth!" thou sang'st with tone of thunder,  
And shine sublime!

The world's enslaved and hunted down by beagles,  
To despots sold.  
Souls of deep thinkers, soar like mighty eagles!  
The Right uphold.

Be born! arise! o'er the earth and wild waves bounding,  
Peoples and suns!  
Let darkness vanish; tocsins be resounding,  
And flash, ye guns!

And you who love no pomps of fog or glamour,  
Who fear no shocks,  
Brave foam and lightning, hurricane and clamour,-  
Exiles: the rocks!

**Victor Hugo: 'The Ocean's Song' **

* * *

The sword slid into her heart.

Being impaled on a blade – again - was everything it was cracked up to be. There was the cold of the steel, the icky squishing sensation of her organs being punctured, and finally and most importantly, the damage to her clothing.

But at least there wasn't any pain. Only a vague sense of irritation.

"Will you people stop stabbing me!" she yelled, stamping her foot for emphasis.

Yanking the blade from her body in one easy motion, she decapitated the surprised looking crustacean that had dared to skewer her, before wiping off the blood and passing the spare sword to Elizabeth. The other woman took it wordlessly, before shaking her head and heading off further into the melee.

Norrington had now made his way over, slashing a swathe over the deck as he went. When he finally reached her side he took in the scene silently, his dark eyes wide and pinning her where she stood.

Buffy smiled innocently up at him, absent-mindedly dismembering one of Jones' crew members who was attempting to sneak up on them. As blood and fish guts rained down around them she touched Norrington's shoulder in concern as he continued to stare at her.

"Are you ok?" she asked. "Only you haven't said anything for like a couple of minutes."

"You're not dead."

"Yep," she replied, popping the p. "Points to you for noticing."

He frowned down at her. "Why are you not dead?"

"Thanks for sounding so happy about it," she replied flippantly. "You know a girl could get a complex that way."

"But why?"

"I have a reputation to uphold. I'm Buffy, the girl who just wouldn't die." She wrinkled her nose and poked at the hole in her shirt. "Pity the clothes never survive though."

"That's not an explanation."

Buffy raised an eyebrow and blocked a swing at her head, reaching back and slamming the handle of her sword viciously into a sailor's head. The man dropped silently to the floor. She dropped the Valley girl act and stared at James seriously. "You want to know how I'm still alive when we're fighting for our lives against an alliance between a bunch of posh British people and weird creepy fish monsters in the middle of a mystically arranged storm that was produced by an ex-shipmate who turned out to be a sea goddess?"

"Touché."

"Look," she said, touching his arm gently. "On a scale of weirdness I can see how this would bother you and I promise to explain as best I can later, but for the moment can we just focus on surviving this battle?"

Norrington pulled his pistol from his belt, raised his arm point level with her temple and fired.

The slavering lagoon creature behind her collapsed in a bloody pile on the deck.

Buffy shared a grin with Norrington and he bowed his head.

"As the lady requests."

"Thank you."

Back to back they resumed fighting and as Buffy knocked out a soldier with her elbow whilst cracking the skull open of a giant lobsterman with a well-placed kick, Norrington couldn't help smiling to himself.

"Most unusual woman."

* * *

Salt water continued to lash the crew as they fought what Buffy was beginning to realise was looking dangerously like a losing battle. Ok, so she was trying to look on the bright side as much as possible, but the problem was her friends were mortal and these fish monsters just seemed to keep getting up and carrying on, despite the fact she was making sushi out of any who dared to cross her path.

"Are you having fun, Miss Summers?" called a familiar voice.

She grinned, finding herself up at the helm by Barbossa. The pirate was currently duelling a man who only had half a chest, the other side being covered in thick black barnacles that left not an inch of skin exposed.

"Blood, weaponry, killing bad guys- what's not to love?" she shouted back over the tempest, ducking and sliding across the desk gracefully, back flipping over the wheel to avoid a particularly nasty thrust of a cutlass. "You can't tell me you're not enjoying this a teeny weeny bit?"

There was a deep thrumming boom as canon fire echoed over the ocean and the ship shuddered, wooden shrapnel flying out into the dark waves.

"Aye, the chance to be blown to kingdom come always gives me a thrill," he snapped, softening his words with a flash of teeth.

Buffy merely winked at him. "That's the spirit," she replied, nimbly weaving her way between two slavering shark headed men, removing arms and legs into a neat bloody pile on the deck as she danced through them. "I hear you just married the Will and Elizabeth show. Didn't realise you were the gooey romantic type."

Barbossa shot her a look and viciously decapitated a crablike sailor. The head flew towards her, crab pincers spinning in the air and she had to duck to avoid being hit by it as dark blood sprayed out in a rainbow arc above them.

"Hey! Watch where you're killing people," huffed Buffy, wiping black goo off her face. "That head almost poked me in the eye."

"You mind what you're saying about people," Barbossa retorted, wiping his blade on the shirt of the severed corpse. "Gooey and romantic indeed. I've never been so insulted!"

Buffy smirked and made cooing noises. "You know denial's only gonna get you so far, Mr I believe in twoo wuv. You're just a big old softy pants."

Barbossa scowled and punched a sailor in the face who had been creeping up behind him. The man instantly crumpled to the floor. "Take that back!"

"Not a chance," laughed Buffy, twirling her sword and impaling three fish monsters in one go. "Wait until I te-"

But the explosion behind her ate up her words in a blast of searing heat. Rippling along her back, the pulse of supercharged air shoved her forwards, viciously propelling her over the deck, scorching the flesh of her back and charring her hair as she suddenly slammed into the side of the vessel.

Her head smacked into the wood with enough force to crack it, and something heavy suddenly hit her back, wedging her further into the side of the mangled ship.

None of it hurt, but the position was cramped and uncomfortable, even for a dead person, and as she pulled out several large splinters that had embedded themselves in her cheek and scalp, the skin closed up even as she pulled the slivers of wood from her flesh.

A trickle of blood raced down from her hairline, following the contours of her face to pool at her lip before trickling down her chin and dripping on her blackened shirt.

Almost instinctively, her tongue gently tasted the blood on her lips.

Warm, salty…not hers.

Crawling slowly out from underneath whatever had hit her and back into the carnage of the battle, she pulled her body out from the wreckage and realized that the reason she had felt uncomfortable was because her right hip was now hanging from its socket, clearly dislocated.

With a sigh she yanked it back into place and wiggled her toes and fingers, checking none of her other body parts were missing or where they shouldn't be. Satisfied that the rest of her was as intact as she was ever going to be she eyed the pile of debris that had smacked into her.

Planks of wood, cannon shrapnel, musket balls and severed limbs lay all around, but it was only as she surveyed the wreckage that she realized part of it was warm and solid and breathing…and terribly familiar.

"James!"

Norrington couldn't hide the wince as she turned him over, his face scratched and bleeding, his shirt ripped to shreds and rapidly turning dark red.

It had been his blood on her lips.

"Are you all right, are you hurt?"

He squinted up at her through the blood and the dust, before glancing at the large piece of wood sticking out of his left shoulder and chest. "Does that answer your question?"

"Oh that? That's just a splinter." Buffy smiled, but her mouth trembled as she took in the damage to his body. "That's what happens when you go and get yourself blown up."

"Occupational hazard, I'm afraid." Any attempt at a grin was ripped from him as the waves tossed the ship and his body jarred against the deck. Ripples of blinding pain flashed across his face and his breath hitched in his throat, low oaths slipping from his lips.

Buffy scowled at him and clutched his shredded, bloodstained shirt. "Don't you dare die on me, James Norrington."

"My apologies, but I'm afraid I do n-not have your remarkable ability for invulnerability."

She curled her fingers further into the bloodstained linen as though she could keep him with her through sheer force of will. "Believe me you don't want to die. You end up in a small boat and trust me when I say it's just like being here only worse."

"And without your charming company."

Buffy shot him a look. "You can't be dying if you can still be sarcastic. You've just got a ...a man wound. Big fuss over nothing." She shrugged her shirt off, leaving her in just her undershirt and balled the material against his wound. "It's just a scratch."

He hissed as she pressed on his wound. "A scratch indeed." His fingers closed over hers and she suddenly realized how long and elegant they were. How warm.

"Buffy," he breathed, "leave me. There is nothing you-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence."

He fell silent but his eyes met hers; dark and beautiful and resigned.

Buffy bit her lip and tried to formulate a plan as the rain lashed down and the waves hurled themselves over the sides of the ship. Trying to locate her friends through the carnage she spotted Jack, William and Elizabeth onboard _The Flying Dutchman_. And they weren't alone. They were fighting Davy Jones.

And they were losing.

Buffy's heart sank as she glanced between her friends as they gradually lost ground and the dying man beside her, bleeding out slowly. If she left him, someone would come along sooner or later and finish him off. If she stayed her friends would be dead within a matter of minutes. Indecision squeezed her heart.

A small hand touched her shoulder.

"Fred." Buffy closed her eyes in relief and tried to pretend it was only rain tracking down her cheeks. She swallowed and summoned up the last of the strength from the Slayer swirling inside of her, and when she opened her eyes again they were fierce and determined and proud and she could not afford to lose. "Fred, I need you stay here with James and make sure he doesn't die, ok? Tell him how crap the afterlife is and keep him here."

The boy nodded, a dagger clutched in each hand and stood protectively beside the dying sailor.

"Good boy. I'm going over to there to kick some ass and then I'll be back as soon as I can. If I don't come back," she said seriously, and her voice lowered so that only Fred could hear her above the crack of the storm, "if I don't come back, you look after yourself and you look after him and you live, understand?" She pulled him into a hug before letting him go and tightening her sword belt, eyes narrowed in calculating the angle to swing over there

"Buffy." James' hand and reached out to gently touch her leg. "The boy's dead too?"

"No, he was, I still am," she replied distractedly, tightening her sword belt, eyes calculating rope angles and somersault positioning and battle plans. She glanced down and squeezed his hand. "I'll be back." Impulsively she kissed his cheek. "Promise."

And then with a bright smile she did not feel she took a running jump for the side of the ship and swung herself over to _The Flying Dutchman_ and Davy Jones.

* * *

Davy Jones grinned mercilessly and kicked Will hard in the side as he lay helplessly on the deck of _The Dutchman_, watching with pleasure at the look of terrified resignation that passed between the man and Elizabeth.

"Ah, love. A dreadful bond. And yet so easily severed. Tell me, William Turner, do you fear death?"

"Do you?" interrupted Jack, from the other side of the deck, clutching Jones' bloody beating heart in his fist. "Heady tonic, holding life and death in the palm of one's hand."

Jones blanched. "You're a cruel man, Jack Sparrow."

"Cruel is a matter of perspective."

The pirate snorted. "Is it, now?" He span round, sword in hand to stab Will in his chest and the blade slid easily through clothes into flesh, puncturing through the skin and out the other side.

The only problem was it wasn't Will who he'd stabbed.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the blade that once again was skewering her and placed her hands on her hips, glaring at Jones. "You get half marks for accuracy and none for originality, because this," she waved at the weapon, "does nothing for me. Steel grey is not my colour, though you people seem determined to get me to model it."

Jones almost exploded in a ball of incandescent rage. "You again!"

Buffy waved brightly. "Yeah me," she looked down at the sword, the blade still vibrating in her chest. "You know, I think we really need to work on your people skills. That's the second time we've met and you've made me into a pin cushion. If I didn't know any better I'd get the feeling that you didn't like me."

The pirate roared in rage and pulled his sword from Buffy and raised the blade to hack at her. "Why won't you just die?"

Buffy clucked her tongue as she parried the blow from Jones and twirled out from his range. "That's a bit hypocritical coming from a semi-immortal man-pirate-fish thingy." She wrinkled her nose. "Just what are you exactly?"

"Your doom," the pirate boomed.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Now that's just mean. And here I thought we'd be BFF's forever. I had a whole thing worked out where we could have gone shopping and gossiped and tried out new hairstyles. I am so totally sure your tentacles would look great in plaits. And I have the most perfect waterproof mascara that would really bring out the rage in your eyes."

"Don't you ever stop talking?!" Jones yelled, swinging at her as they fought their way over the wildly rocking deck.

"Now what would be the fun in that," said Buffy as she diced a handful of the pirate's tentacles with her sword, "when me babbling away serves as the perfect distraction?"

"What?" Jones whirled and raged as he watched both Elizabeth and Will swing over to the other ship and away out of his reach. Only Jack remained, the hand clutched in his heart, indecision clouding his expression as he hesitated.

Buffy frowned at him and made shushing motions, even as she exchanged furious blows with Jones as they danced over the ship. "Jack! Get your ass over onto that ship with the heart now and give it to James!"

Jack clutched the heart closer to his chest and balked. "You want Norrington of all bloody people to have it? He's insufferable enough as it is, without making him immortal on top of it."

She slammed her foot into Jones' chest and he toppled backwards even as the storm around them reached a crescendo.

"He's dying!" she yelled, though she wasn't sure whether Jack would hear her or simply read her lips. "He stabs the heart and saves the world. Or something like that. Whatever."

"But it's Norrington!" he shouted back. Or at least that's what his expression screamed at her.

She neatly pin wheeled round Jones, jabbed her elbow into his face and stuck two fingers up at Jack, followed by a more expressive gesture of what she'd do to him if he didn't get the heart over to the former commodore, pronto.

Jack held up his hands in the universal gesture of surrender and took a perfect leap off the boat using one of the dangling line ropes and a ragged sail, which turned into a parachute as the wind caught it and Jack flew into the sky.

"Show off," she muttered under her breath, even as Jones viciously slammed the back of his sword into her temple. Something cracked loudly by her ear and that, thought Buffy vaguely, was the first time she'd ever sustained a fractured skull. From an undead pirate captain at least.

"You will not forestall my judgment!" roared Jones and slammed his sword back into her head.

Buffy shrugged and looked up at him from her position on the floor, where the force of the blow had sent her.

"Maybe not," she replied evenly. "But the massive whirlpool we're about to be sucked into sure as hell will."

"What?!" screamed Jones, as the water that had been slowly closing in around them crashed over the ship.

The maelstrom sucked the ship into its dark, unfathomable centre and the last thing Buffy saw was the malevolent green of the waves, the grey of the thunder above them and Jones with his sword raised, prepared to fight the sea.

Buffy just grinned, lay back on the deck and let the waves swallow her up.

* * *

On boardthe other ship, Elizabeth watched with a heavy heart as _The Dutchman_ sank into the swirling mass of roiling waves. Beside her Norrington lay, pale as death itself, and breathing shallowly, his eyes fixed on some distant place only he could see.

There was a muffled thump behind them as Jack landed on deck and untangled himself from his makeshift parachute. The still beating heart was clutched in his hand as he walked over and kneeled beside the dying man.

The movement jarred Norrington from his reverie and he looked up at the crew who surrounded him now, his eyes travelling from face to face, searching until they landed on Jack's unusually solemn expression.

"Buffy?"

Will squeezed Elizabeth's hand and the three of them shared a look.

"She's just coming, mate," said Jack finally.

Norrington closed his eyes and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly in what might have been a smile. "Kind of you to lie to a dying man, Sparrow."

Jack swallowed and lay the heart by the side of him. "Listen, Norrington, you need to stab the heart. You won't die and we'll win. Hopefully."

Norrington's eyes flew open. "Pardon?"

"Buffy… she said you have to stab Jones' heart."

"Those were her last words?"

"Yes."

Moving painfully slowly, Norrington wrapped his fingers around the proffered dagger with what little strength he had left and thrust downwards. The blade pierced the beating heart with ease and there was a sudden stillness all around, even as the wind raged and the rain pelted down.

The silence suddenly exploded into a crescendo of noise and over the roar of the storm someone was screaming the sea goddess' name.

"Calypso!"

And then Norrington's breath hitched in his throat one final time, his eyes slipped closed and his chest stilled.

"James!" Elizabeth dropped to her knees beside him and grasped his hand even as Will placed his hands on her arms and tried to pull her away.

"The Dutchman must have a captain," said Jack dully, and raised the knife over Norrington's chest.

* * *

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